Kerry B: Government Conspiracy Expert

Now folks, its an well established fact that the Federal Emergency Management Administration (FEMA) is not building camps in which to hold people that the federal government considers to be “domestic terrorists.” This conspiracy theory has been a recent favorite of the tinfoil-hat crowd, right up there with “chemtrails.” Now, most people would assume that such an inane idea wouldn’t merit the time of the austere House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. However, Krazy Kerry isn’t most people. Check out the video of the questioning Kerry had with Mr. Medina of FEMA: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQYYkfkVjNE

So to recap, Kerry asks Mr. Medina if FEMA is is planning for “doomsday events,” “civil unrest,” or “anything like that.” That razor sharp question wasn’t answered quite to the liking of the Krazy Kongressman, and he wanted to make sure that FEMA was not involved in a (and we swear that this is a real, true, honest-to-goodness quote), “Conspiracy to overthrow the people of this country.”

As a treat, we here at TheRealyKerryB have decided to transcribe the line of questioning that came after that video ended, which you can find below:
– – – – – – – –
Congressman Bentivolio: Mr. Medina, I’ve been receiving calls from constituents who are very worried that if our allies “across the pond” can lose control of their Ministry of Magic to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, there is nothing stopping our government from placing him in charge of FEMA Camps.

Mr. Medina: [Stunned Silence]

Congressman Bentivolio: Please let the record show that the witness is refusing to answer the question. Now, Mr. Medina, is it not true that the highest levels of our government may well have been compromised through the combined use of polyjuice potion and the imperius curse?

Mr. Medina: [Stunned Silence]

Congressman Bentivolio: Mr. Medina, are you under the influence of the one true ring? Is it, or is it not true that you rode a nazgul to this very meeting today?!

Mr. Medina: Mr. Congressman, I believe you’re mixing your fantasy novel cannon. And is that a bottle of glue you’re holding?

Congressman Bentivolio: I’ll ask the questions here! Is it true that FEMA is building these camps as game preserves in which the alien known as “Predator” can hunt?
– – – – – – –

Suffice it to say, the line of questioning continued on until the Congressman was finally reassured that the Department of Homeland Security does not utilize an Air Cavalry comprised of wizards on Pegasus-like flying horses to imprison tea partiers; Jeff Goldblum was never called upon to upload a computer virus to a massive alien spaceship; and that Elvis is not working as a gas station attendant in rural Ohio.

Krazy Kerry: Asking the tough questions no one else will (because everyone else is too balanced to do so).

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