Don’t Stick Your Finger in the Light Socket

Krazy Kerry was on the floor of the House last night warning Americans not to “stick their finger in the light socket,” a beautiful metaphor about Obamacare hurting our nation. (See the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21KczA2fTTA )

Now, normally we would tell you that Kerry shouldn’t be giving advice to anyone, but when it comes to electricity coursing through a person’s body, Krazy Kerry is a bit of an expert. In fact, as you will recall, he underwent electroshock therapy: http://www.mlive.com/news/detroit/index.ssf/2012/11/estranged_relatives_unpaid_deb.html

With Krazy Kerry being so kind as to offer his expertise to the general public, we have collected a few more choice words of advice on things you can do rather than sticking a finger in a light socket. The top 5 are below:

1. You can (of course) sniff glue, but don’t stick your finger in a light socket.

2. Run your business into the ground and stiff all vendors including family, but don’t stick your finger in the light socket.

3. Be a part of a 9/11 truther film where you play a pro-choice doctor advocating for an abortion to a coma victim, but don’t stick your finger in the light socket.

4. Think you’re actually Santa Claus, but don’t stick your finger in the light socket.

5. Try to intimidate students and make them cry, but don’t stick your finger in the light socket.

These are words to live by in Krazy Kerry’s world, and don’t you forget it (though to be fair, electroshock therapy and glue abuse could well make Krazy Kerry forget a few things himself)!

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