Kerry’s Secret Notebook

We’re told that Kerry has taken to toting a journal with him wherever he goes in order to remember the things he needs to check in on. Now, one would imagine that it would need to be an encyclopedia-sized book to really Krazy Kerry any service,

We can only hazard a guess as to what exactly Krazy Kerry has scrawled into his notebook, so see below for what we believe to be the most likely entries:

KERRY’S INNER THOUGHTS

1. Where exactly is my District? Remember to ask a staffer.

2. Re: #1 Is there a minimum number of days I can spend in my District and still call it “home?”

3. I’m not Santa Claus. Right? Wait, is that right? No, no I’m not Santa. I think.

4. Look into how much money your campaign can legally be in debt. Could be important…

5. How can I raise the debt ceiling again, but make it sound like I didn’t?

6. Remember to get glue for your “project.” Yeah… “special project.”

7. Send a staffer to visit FEMA camp. If they are detained, its the proof I was looking for!

8. Get Chairman Issa to listen to me about the chemtrails.

9. How many out of district endorsements are too many?

Krazy Kerry is clearly working hard to make sure he gets the most pressing questions of the day answered.

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