Silent Santa

Has Dave Agema been naughty or nice? Let’s ask our good Congressman, the Silent Santa, Krazy Kerry.

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One of Kerry’s first and largest supporters has been REALLY naughty if you ask Justin Amash and the rest of MIGOP (Free Press article link)

What IS interesting is that Santa hasn’t disavowed Agema, or even called for him to apologize for the statements he made. Now, we know your first question: Which statements are we referring to? Well the answer is quite simple: All of them! All the reasons that Agema should be put on the naughty list permanently would take far too long to recount, so we picked some of our favorites below!

According to Agema, Gays wants free healthcare because they are dying of aid:

http://www.eclectablog.com/2013/12/dave-agema-gays-want-free-health-care-because-theyll-die-of-aids-when-theyre-30-44-years-old.html

And according to Agema, a sattirical website’s story about Obama’s illegitimate son could be TRUE!?!?!?
http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2013/02/is_this_true_onion_satire_on_o.html
So why then, you have to wonder, has Santa stuck with the racist from Western Michigan? Simple! Because Dave Agema was one of the first to endorse Kerry publicly and still stands behind him to this day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIX70E-uuuk
Or could it be the mastermind behind Krazy Kerry’s operation, one David Wolkinson:

Only time will tell if Agema gets coal in his stocking this year from the Silent Santa, but its pretty clear what the rest of the GOP thinks about it!

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Krazy Kerry Campaign Tipline

Tips are pouring into the Krazy Kerry tipline and one thing is for certain: you have to be krazy to work for Krazy Kerry! Some of the tips we will elaborate on in the near future:

– Krazy David likes to berate high school kids just like Krazy Kerry and Republican party staff. Some great recordings and email trails we will explore. Truly Krazy!

– Krazy Sarah is downright krazy. Besides some of her rants which are well-documented (great facebook messages, emails and texts—keep them coming), Krazy Sarah spent last year’s national convention somewhere she shouldn’t have. Some might call it trespassing. But this isn’t her first brush with the law. Nor her last. 

 

Remember keep the tiplines coming rkbtipline@yahoo.com 

 

Thanks for all the tips!

Kerry’s Secret Notebook

We’re told that Kerry has taken to toting a journal with him wherever he goes in order to remember the things he needs to check in on. Now, one would imagine that it would need to be an encyclopedia-sized book to really Krazy Kerry any service,

We can only hazard a guess as to what exactly Krazy Kerry has scrawled into his notebook, so see below for what we believe to be the most likely entries:

KERRY’S INNER THOUGHTS

1. Where exactly is my District? Remember to ask a staffer.

2. Re: #1 Is there a minimum number of days I can spend in my District and still call it “home?”

3. I’m not Santa Claus. Right? Wait, is that right? No, no I’m not Santa. I think.

4. Look into how much money your campaign can legally be in debt. Could be important…

5. How can I raise the debt ceiling again, but make it sound like I didn’t?

6. Remember to get glue for your “project.” Yeah… “special project.”

7. Send a staffer to visit FEMA camp. If they are detained, its the proof I was looking for!

8. Get Chairman Issa to listen to me about the chemtrails.

9. How many out of district endorsements are too many?

Krazy Kerry is clearly working hard to make sure he gets the most pressing questions of the day answered.

Krazy Kerry: Call Your District

For those of you thinking you haven’t seen Krazy Kerry in the district, you aren’t imagining things.  You aren’t seeing Krazy Kerry in the district.  Krazy Kerry doesn’t show up anywhere.  GOP events, tea party events, you name it, Kerry won’t show up.

 

He has no public calendar.  When he speaks (like the rare event he spoke to in August), it becomes national news. 

 

It’s the continuation of campaign 2012.   Operation Hide Kerry Bentivolio.  Bentivolio has not done a town hall and won’t show up at the simplest events.  And it’s simple. Bentivolio cannot defend his record.  In January, Bentivolio voted to raise the debt ceiling.  In May, Bentivolio voted for additional spending in the farm bill.  Bentivolio cannot defend his shutdown votes.  Bentivolio cannot defend himself.  So they are hiding him.  Not becoming of a Congressman.  Get the milk carton ad up,  we have a missing Congressman.

Campaigning on the Taxpayer’s dime

We here at The Real Kerry B have gotten quite a few folks emailing us talking about how Krazy Kerry’s official staff, paid for at the taxpayers’ expense, are doubling as his campaign workers. Rather than helping the people and serving their constituents in Washington, the Krazy Kerry staffers are spending their work days doing anything they can to keep their boss in office.

For instance, in this Detroit Free Press article from October 16th of this year, Krazy Kerry’s Chief of Staff (Rob Wasinger) was quoted commenting on the campaign and listed as a “campaign adviser.” http://www.freep.com/article/20131016/NEWS06/310160119/

Perhaps Kerry’s Chief of Staff (whom you would assume paid at least a little attention to the ethics training) is doing this in his spare time to help out his boss. But what about campaigning when you are very clearly in the middle of your government job?

Kerry’s Communications Director, Matthew Chisholm, is apparently also the campaign press secretary.

 

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11:43am on a Monday morning, and somehow Matthew was able to contact a news outlet back in the neglected 11th District on behalf of Krazy Kerry’s campaign. We sure hope that Matthew wasn’t posting from his computer in the Cannon House Office Building. That would be a very clear violation of the House of Representatives’ ethics policy. http://birmingham.patch.com/groups/opinion/p/kerry-bentivolio-announces-campaign-chair-for-reelection-effort_bfd9aad5

And finally, let’s not forget about Kerry’s beleaguered district staffers! Sarah Ledford, Deputy District Director, is also moonlighting as Kerry’s fundraising assistant.

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If you wanted to attend Krazy Kerry’s fundraiser (and judging by the FEC reports, no one did), then you needed to contact Sarah Ledford to RSVP for “this exciting event!”

There’s a very clear pattern on Krazy Kerry’s staff that they obviously get from their boss: they will do anything it takes to stay in office. In this case, that means that they’ll spend time from their government job on Kerry’s official staff to campaign for his reelection.

“Mobile” Constituent Services

We received and interesting tip today regarding Krazy Kerry’s roving trailer of constituent outreach. As it turns out, this boondoggle of a taxpayer paid vanity project will cease traveling the 11th District for the rest of the year. Image

 

Apparently no one on Krazy Kerry’s staff can drive in the snow (couldn’t they put the trailer on the back of the sleigh?), as the “Mobile Constituent Services Center” will not be functioning in the winter. This news begs the question: Was there any purpose for Krazy Kerry to purchase this trailer at taxpayer expense other than to attempt to promote himself? Perhaps Kerry assumed that the trailer with his name on it would suffice as a stand-in while he avoided coming back and talking to his constituents at all costs. In Krazy Kerry’s world, nothing is more important than getting reelected, no matter how many taxpayers’ dollars he has to spend.

Biting the Hand that Feeds Him

Kerry is getting right back on that fundraising horse (well, reindeer) by sending out an email to his “team” this morning asking that they join his force of freedom fighters and wage a holy war against the K Street Republicans that are supporting several GOP challengers.

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The problem here is that it would seem Kerry is forsaking the very special interests that fund nearly half of his campaign. 45% of the money that Bentivolio for Congress has raised has come from PACs and other special interest groups, including those supposedly hated lobbyists! For a Representative who claims to be fueled by grassroots conservatives and small donors, its pretty telling that Krazy Kerry only mustered 27 people to give to his campaign this quarter. All the rest of his money came in from those hated lobbyists. If Kerry is able to get those 50 people to donate to his campaign (we’ll take the under on that bet), he will more than double the number of donors he’s been able to get.

As Kerry’s burn rate is about 90% and he has less than the price of a mid-size sedan in his cofers, its a good thing that We The People are paying for Krazy Kerry’s campaign staff out of the taxpayer’s money. Communications Director Matt Chisholm is busy writing campaign press releases. Deputy District Director Sarah Ledford has taken to fundraising for Kerry, and “adviser to the campaign” Rob Wasinger is better known as Kerry’s Chief of Staff.

Krazy Kerry is making a bold play, claiming he is being run out for being too conservative (it has nothing to do with his broken campaign promises and conspiracy theories, obvously). We can’t wait to see how it works out!